Taste Of My Own Medicine

It's week TWO at The Reset and I am gulping a #BigOld taste of my own medicine. Made only slightly more palatable by the fact that my medicine is called Takecareyoself®. This week was a reminder that words are easy and actions are hard. And people who practice what they preach are the people I want to hang with (as long as they're not preaching misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, racist, anti-semitic horse shit.)

Here’s what I preach: DO (physical) THINGS YOU LOVE YOUR OWN WAY AND DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF FOR NOT DOING IT JUST LIKE or AS GOOD AS SOMEONE ELSE AND ALSO USE EXERCISE TO PRACTICE HANDLING HARD THINGS. Because HOW YOU HANDLE HARD THINGS IN THE STUDIO IS HOW YOU HANDLE THEM OUTSIDE THE STUDIO. 

I love learning and getting better at what I do. So I take continuing education classes. This week I took an eight-hour long TRX® training and the curriculum included two different 40-minute TRX classes. There were about 8 participants. Most were younger but three looked about my age. The instructor was beyond fantastic. Knowledgable, supportive and the perfect blend of coach, sensei and motivator. She was so good I plan to go well out of my way to take her classes in the future. 

But the workouts? Brutal. A couple times, I kind of peeked over at other participants continuing to move beautifully while I couldn't complete. one. more. rep. and I felt an ancient despair in my throat welling up hot to my eyes. I was miserably inept and heavy and why even bother. I have no business being in the same room as these people. Why am I even here. Why do I think this is something I can do. I am a red-in-the-face failure. I want to leave. Now. And I'm fat. Exercise is stupid.

So, how did I handle myself when things got really hard? If my body could have manifested my thoughts, I would have started punching myself in my own face. This morning, I'm laughing out loud at the D-R-A-M-A. A 45 year-old privileged AF woman crying in her second TRX class of the day because it's haaaarrrrrd?! I'm going to practice what I preach and take my own medicine. If I was coaching myself, I would say THIS: 

"Oh. You weren't perfect? You did not exhibit the cardiovascular endurance of a sprinter? Your muscles fatigued over time and exertion? SHOCKER. How about just feeling un-confident when you try something new, and see if you can be kind to yourself AT THE SAME TIME YOU expose yourself to a difficult experience. Oh, you want to wait to feel “confident enough” to expose yourself? Okay, but that's a waiting game that could go on for a while."

And look at that, I feel better already.

I believe the world needs us right now to love ourselves through hard things because there are so many things that need to get done. And coming up with chuzpah takes practice. Come to the Reset to grease the wheels of being brave. Let's ugly laugh/cry together while trying something hard and then give each other 125 high fives after. And then let's go out in the world and do the same. damn. thing.